Archivist’s Note: The Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna was developed by Elvea Aure, aka Killer Barbie, a Boarder who seems to have been active during roughly the same time period as Jay and Acacia themselves. The earliest surviving capture of her site by the Wayback Machine is on November 7, 2003, with all mission links already existing by then. The latest capture for Elvea's site material is August 16, 2004, and “I’ll Be the One” is the only mission of hers that did not get rescued by the Wayback. (Huinesoron backed up the other missions in 2008.)

Light editing for grammar and punctuation has occurred as well as rendering “*pookie*” as “pookie” and fixing “Legolas regained conscience” to “Legolas regained consciousness.” Elvea’s original British-style quotation marking has been retained. This mission is rated roughly PG-13, due to Joe’s amorous flirting and the violence present in the badfic. Elvea’s note at the end contains author-bashing, which is no longer considered appropriate by the community at large.

The PPC and Luxury and Sean were created by Jay and Acacia, and the setting is written in with permission. The Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna, and Agents Joe and Mel, were created by Elvea Aure, and the agents belong to her. The Middle-earth setting and everything in it belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. ”I’ll Be the One”, and the description of it quoted from the author’s page, belong to MoonBolt.

I'll Be the One )

[Elvea Aure’s Note: the author of this story is by far the most stupid author I have ever encountered. I quote from her author's note in the 20th chapter of the story: I'm not sure about which way is horizontal *blushes* but I do think it is up and down. Come on! She deserved this; the story was absolutely horrible. I feel your pain Bodldops... really, I do. *twitches* I read it all... it was terrible. Anyway. I appreciate the submission of bad fics; let me know if you find one. I'd like one directly involving Éomer so that Mel can go bananas.

Also I'd like to thank everyone who has read the first chapter and was kind enough to give me their opinion and to point out my silly slip-ups. Keep the feedback coming, I really appreciate it. Thanks!]